Fun With The Cullens: Junk Food Junkie
by once.bitten.and.twice.shy.14
Summary: Another one of my random songs that the Cullen's encounter. R&R to give me ideas for more random songs!God, I love randomness!


**Hi again! This is kinda lame, but I ran out of random songs. If you have one, tell me please! I promise I will work with it! We were extremly sucky with this random song, since it's not the easiest song to make fun of with vampire characters who don't understand because they don't eat. But, whatever.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the charaters. They are Stephenie Meyer's. I don't own "Junk Food Junkie" either. It's some random song from the 70's.**

**Enjoy!**

Alice: Jasper!

Jasper: Yes?

Alice: I saw something. Bella will be here in four minutes. She has something to show us.

Emmett: Bella's coming?! Yes! I have to prepare…

Edward: What are you planning Emmett? You never block your mind around me.

Emmett: You'll see. _–laughs evily-_

Rosalie: Emmett…? Did you take your madication?

Emmett: What?! Noo! You promised not to say anything!

Jasper: Ha! Your on meds?

Edward: Really? Wow, you hid this from me for that long? I didn't know vampires could have ADD.

Alice: You have ADD?

Emmett: NO! Why would I have ADD?!

Edward: Your lying. It all fits now. Emmett, go take your meds. _–laughs-_

Rosalie: Come on. We'll go get them.

Emmett: I DO NOT HAVE ADD! DO YOU HEAR ME?! NO ADD! _–dragged away by Rosalie-_

Alice: Wow…

Bella: Hey! I'm here!

Edward: Hi Bella.

Jasper: Hi.

Alice: Hola chicka.

Bella: Alice! Bring me your laptop! Quickly!

Alice: I saw this. I rought it down already. _–hands Bella computer-_

Bella: Thanks. _–logs onto Youtube-_

Edward: What are you doing, love?

Bella: Shhh! Its on. Watch.

_-screen lights up. Old fashion record player on screen-_

_You know I love that organic cooking  
I always ask for more  
And they call me Mr Natural  
On down to the health food store  
I only eat good sea salt  
White sugar don't touch my lips  
And my friends is always begging me  
To take them on macrobiotic trips  
Yes, they are_

Oh, but at night I take out my strong box  
That I keep under lock and key  
And I take it off to my closet  
Where nobody else can see  
I open that door so slowly  
Take a peek up north and south  
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie  
And I pop it in my mouth

Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural  
Just as healthy as I can be  
But at night I'm a junk food junkie  
Good lord have pity on me

Well, at lunchtime you can always find me  
At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar  
Just sucking on my plain white yogurt  
From my hand thrown pottery jar  
And sippin' a little hand pressed cider  
With a carrot stick for dessert  
And wiping my face in a natural way  
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt  
Oh, yeah

Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight  
And I'm all by myself  
I work that combination on my secret hideaway shelf  
And I pull out some Fritos corn chips  
Dr Pepper and an ole Moon Pie  
Then I sit back in glorious expectation  
Of a genuine junk food high

Oh yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr Natural  
Just as healthy as I can be  
Oh, but at night I'm a junk food junkie  
Good lord have pity on me

My friends down at the commune  
They think I'm pretty neat  
Oh, I don't know nothing about arts and crafts  
But I give 'em all something to eat  
I'm a friend to old Euell Gibbons  
And I only eat home grown spice  
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn  
Filled up with my brown rice  
Yes, I do

Oh, folks but lately I have been spotted  
With a Big Mac on my breath  
Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders  
With a face as white as death  
I'm aftraid someday they'll find me  
Just stretched out on my bed  
With a handful of Pringles potato chips  
And a Ding Dong by my head

In the daytime I'm Mr Natural  
Just as healthy as I can be  
But at night I'm a junk food junkie  
Good lord have pity on me

Bella: _-smiling hugely- _Well??

Alice: I don't get it.

Edward: …

Jasper: What…?

Bella: It's funny because he's all Mr. Healthy and then he's not at night and, and, and… _-rolls on floor laughing hysterically-_

Alice: I still don't get it.

Edward: Me neither.

Jasper: HAHAHA!! _–rolls on floor laughing with Bella-_

Alice: Jazzy?

Edward: Ha! He can't help himself. Bella's laughter is making him laugh, too. His thoughts are going haywire. Ha!

Alice: Bella! Stop laughing!

Bella: But. It's. FUNNY!

Edward: Actually, love, its not.

Bella: _-stops laughing- _Really? Oh.

Jasper: _-sits up- _Bella! You SUCK! Come back here! _–Bella runs away and Jasper runs after her, taking her down-_

Bella: _-screams- _OW! Jasper! Get off!

Edward: JASPER! _–throws Jasper off of Bella-_

Alice: Wow. Did't see this coming.

Bella: _-brushes off- _I'm going home. Your right. This song really isn't that funny. _–walks out the door-_

Alice: Well, that was lame. I'm bored.

Edward: Me too.I'm gonna' go with Bella. _–runs after Bella-_

Jasper: Alice. Let's go hunting, okay?

Alice: Whatever. _–leaves with Jasper-_

**What'd I tell you? Lame, right? No plot. But we had A LOT of fun writing this. Please give me some song suggestions. I don't even care if they are random. I'll find something to make fun of in it, or I'll just make it plotless like this one. My friends might also find something to make fun of in it. Or we can change the words. You never know what us random people will do! Love you, my wonderful readers!**

**Kendra (Special thanks to Spencer! He helped me, sorta'. He laughs at what I do and gives me support!)**


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